Life's Funny That Way
by verbpreciousgem
Summary: We all know what happened that fateful day at the lake from Snape's memories. But what happened after the scene dissolved? With help of James Potter, Lily goes through a rollercoaster of emotions. Sometimes, life's just funny that way. Oneshot, for now.


**A/N: Hey, you clicked on my story. Thanks for that. **

**For now, this is just a oneshot. I could continue it, or I could leave it as is. It's all up to you. Let me know what you want, and I'll see if we can work something out. I will warn you though, I have tendency to stray from longer stories if I lose inspiration.**

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling, I am not. Therefore these characters are not mine. And neither are any of the "quotations" that pass between Lily and Snape in the scene outside of the common room.**

* * *

Lily felt the familiar pinpricking sensation of tears in her eyes, but she refused to blink and let them fall over. Her vision was blurred and she could hardly see where she was going, but she didn't care. Her feet were leading the way; she didn't care where to as long as it was far away from where she was.

She was shocked at what had just happened, but a part of her wondered why it had taken as long as it had.

_Mudblood_.

The word kept ringing in her ears, and she desperately wished for something to tune it out with. Her thoughts drifted fondly to her wireless at home, and she wished, not for the first time, that muggle electronics worked on Hogwarts grounds.

_Bloody Potter_. _This is all his fault_, she thought bitterly, but in the back of her mind, she knew he wasn't the one to blame. It was bound to happen eventually. All Potter did was drag it out of him sooner.

"_Lily!_"

She jolted at the voice, although she made no move to slow down.

"Come on, Lils. We're nearly out of breath here," Marlene said, panting indeed. Lily wondered how long they had been following her.

"I don't want to talk right now," Lily said weakly. She knew the moment they got her to open her mouth her resolve would crack.

"Well, that's fine," Dorcas told her. "But surely you don't want to be _alone_?"

At this, Lily faltered. She turned around to see all four of her roommates walking towards her, each with expressions of mingled fury and worry.

Marlene got to her first, and the blond quickly engulfed her in a hug that made Lily wince. By the time the other girls got to her, she could barely breathe and her cheeks were moist.

"Let's go up to the dorm," Emmeline said. "I have a drawer full of chocolate frogs that are just dying to be eaten."

Smiling feebly, Lily nodded her head and allowed her friends to drag her up the stairs and to their dorm.

* * *

Dinner was a mess. She could feel his pitch black eyes on her throughout the whole meal, but she made sure hers looked anywhere else.

Snape wasn't the only one staring. It seemed there wasn't a single person in the Great Hall that hadn't turned around to stare at her at least once, teachers included.

"Would you quit looking back here?" Marlene shouted at a poor second year Hufflepuff, who had turned around for what must have been the fifth time that night. The poor kid almost fell out of his chair, he was trembling so bad.

"I had a goldfish once," Lily said suddenly. "When I was seven or eight. I always used to press my nose up against the glass and watch it, waiting for it to do something interesting. Is this what it felt like?"

"Oh, honey, don't let them bother you." Dorcas said, reaching a hand out to rub Lily's arm affectionately.

"You know, I'm not that hungry. I think I'm going to go study in the library for a bit." Lily said, dropping her fork with a _clang_.

"Are you sure? We could come with you," Mary said, making to stand, but Lily shook her head.

"No, you girls stay and finish eating. I won't be gone long." Lily sent them what she hoped was a disarming smile, before standing and making her way towards the exit.

From farther down the table, she heard the unmistakable sound of a bench scraping across the floor. Knowing exactly who it was that had gotten up, Lily grit her teeth and quickened her pace.

"Oi, Evans!"

Making sure to shut the door behind her, Lily ducked around the corner and hid behind a tapestry. When she heard the heavy door creak open again, she flattened herself against the wall and held her breath.

"Come on, Lily. Are we really going to play hide and seek?" James chuckled at his joke, and Lily couldn't help but roll her eyes.

She heard his footsteps coming nearer, and she tried to get even closer to the wall. The tapestry was thin, and she was sure if he got close enough, her silouhette would be easy to make out.

"I'm not going anywhere until you come out and we talk."

She was beginning to feel lightheaded just as his trainers came into view beneath the slip of fabric. She needed to breathe, but knew that if she did, it would come out as a gasp that would echo throughout the entire corridor.

As if he could read her thoughts, James whispered, "Gotta breathe sometime, Evans."

Her head was beginning to spin, her vision blurring. Just when she thought she was going to pass out, she finally opened her mouth and began heaving in air, causing her ears to ring and her chest to heave.

Just as she began to cough and splutter, James pulled back the tapestry with a smirk on his face.

"Found you."

Lily groaned and tried to push past him, but he caught her wrist and held her in place.

"Oh, no. You're not going anywhere until you listen to what I have to say."

Knowing that breaking free was near impossible since his grip was like a vice, she settled for glaring daggers at him instead.

To her surprise, his eyes softened as he said, "I'm sorry about earlier."

"You should be," she hissed, venom on her tongue. Even though she knew it wasn't entirely his fault, she wasn't quite ready to forgive and forget, either.

"I gave him a right beating for it," James said, puffing out his chest. She couldn't believe he was actually _proud_ about that.

"Give yourself one, too, or do I need to do that?" Lily slipped her hand into her pocket, pulling out her wand, and in a flash, had it pointed at his throat.

James loosened his hold on her wrist, and she yanked it out of his reach. The cool air stung where his skin had been, but Lily ignored it.

"I already feel bad enough, Lily. You don't have to go making me feel worse." James said, hoping this would make it better. But it did the exact opposite.

"Don't act like you're the victim here!" Lily shrieked, outraged.

"You can't put all the blame on me, Evans!" James shouted back, his hands clenching into fists at his sides.

"Watch me, Potter! If you hadn't provoked him, if you hadn't started it-,"

"Then it would have been tomorrow, or next week. You know it's true, don't act like this took you by surprise." James said, his voice dark. But there was pity in his eyes, and Lily just couldn't take it anymore.

"I don't need you to tell me I was an idiot for trusting him." Lily said, sniffling. The tears in her eyes startled James - he hadn't meant to make her cry.

"You weren't an idiot," James said, gently pushing her wand out his face.

"Don't _touch_ me, Potter!" Lily turned away from him and folded her arms over her chest. She was trembling, her body visibly shaking, and it scared James.

"Lily, I'm so sorry." And he meant it, too. But she was too hurt to see it.

"Things were getting better. I thought we would be fine, and then _you _had to go and mess it all up!"

She was crying in earnest now, and it had stunned James into silence. Never before had he seen Lily Evans shed a single tear.

"Why can't you just grow up already?" she whispered, so quietly she thought he couldn't hear. But he had.

"Lily-," he started, reaching towards her. She couldn't see it, but his expression was one of nothing but sympathy, guilt, and hurt.

"Just leave me alone." And with that, she left, leaving James feeling worse than he had ever felt before.

* * *

Lily's roommates didn't return for at least two hours, and Lily was grateful for that. She knew they meant well, but now she really _did_ want to be alone. She was glad they seemed to understand that.

Her cheeks were flushed, sticky with dried tears. She had put on her dressing gown as soon as she had gotten back in the dormitory, and then flung herself on her bed where she cried for a good half-hour straight. Her talk with James hadn't made her feel any better. In fact, it had only made her feel worse.

Now that her anger had dissipated some, she was able to look back on their encounter. Guilt was gnawing away at her - it wasn't James' fault, at least not entirely. And what he had said was true - if not today, it had to have happened at some point. Compared to his housemates, she was nothing. Worse than nothing. She was dirt to them.

A knock on the door let her know that they were coming in, and she quickly tried to wipe her face. It didn't help much.

"Hey, Lils," Dorcas said, smiling slightly. Lily tried to return the gesture, but had a feeling it only came out as a grimace.

Mary had an apprehensive look on her face as she came and sat down on Lily's bed. She was biting her lip, a habit that the other girls had learned meant she was worried.

Taking a deep breath, she said, "Lily, Snape's out in the corridor."

This was quite possibly the last thing Lily wanted to hear just then. Her expression darkened considerably, to the point where she _knew _she was grimacing.

"He says he won't leave until he talks to you," Emmeline added. "We tried to tell him to go away, but he won't leave."

"He's threatened to sleep out there and wait all night if he has to," Mary said. "But if you don't want to, we'll go back down there and-,"

"No, it's fine," Lily said, cutting her off. "I'll go talk to him. Might be good for me."

"Do you want us to come with you?" Marlene asked. Lily shook her head as she rose from the bed and walked over to their shared bathroom to splash cold water on her face.

"No, I need to do this by myself," Lily said when she reemerged from the bathroom. At the looks of worry she received, Lily forced a smile she hoped looked genuine. "But thank you. For everything."

The four girls nodded their heads solemnly, and watched her go.

"Good luck, Lily." Emmeline whispered, smiling at Lily's back as she shut the door behind her.

Sighing and running a hand through her hair, Lily made her way down the spiral staircase. The common room was packed, as per usual. But Lily seemed to really notice just how many people were in there when they all stopped talking when she entered and turned to stare at her.

Trying her hardest to ignore them, Lily pulled her dressing gown tighter around her body and made her way to the portrait hole.

"Why don't you lot get back to your own pathetic lives?"

James' voice made her falter in her step. Was he really still defending her after the awful way she treated him?

She looked up, hoping to see him looking at her, but he wasn't. He was in what appeared to be a very heated discussion with Sirius.

Feeling slightly dejected, and very guilty, Lily put on a brave face as she exited the common room and stepped into the drafty corridor.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out as soon as the portrait swung shut behind her.

"I'm not interested," she told him, her voice sharp.

"I'm sorry!" His desperation only piqued her anger.

"Save your breath." She crossed her arms over her chest to show him that she was not going to give in. Not this time. "I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just-,"

"Slipped out?" Lily asked, without an ounce of pity in her voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can even understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends-," she paused, hoping he would say something to nullify her statement. He didn't. "You see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

Lily was practically seething now. Her shoulders and chest heaved as she took short, angry breaths.

Snape opened his mouth, as though he were going to say something, but closed it without speaking.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine." Lily said, turning her head away from him.

"No - listen, I didn't mean-,"

" - to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

She watched him struggle on the verge of speech, but didn't stick around to hear what he finally came up with. It shouldn't have been that difficult in the first place.

With a look of contempt thrown his way, Lily turned and climbed back through the portrait hole, and slammed the door shut with all her might.

She took deep, calming breaths as she prepared to face the common room - there was no doubt in her mind that everyone was staring at her now. But when she turned around, it was to find the room empty, save for one person. One messy-haired, bespectacled person.

"Did you make them all leave?"

"Are you alright?" James asked, ignoring her question. He didn't need to answer it anyways - she already knew he must have.

When she didn't answer him right away, he stood up from his place on the couch and walked over to her. There was a raw concern on his face she had never seen before - it was as if he expected her to break down at any moment. And although she knew she could, and had every right to; even though she felt tears stinging her eyes again, she wasn't going to let them spill over. She vowed, from that moment on, to never shed another tear for Severus Snape again.

"No," she said, looking up at him, and attempting a smile. "But I'll get there."

"You always do," James said, a rare, genuine smile on his lips that only made Lily's guilt grow tenfold.

Looking down at her shoes, she said, "Look, about earlier. I'm really so-,"

"Don't even worry about it." James said, cutting her off. Lily's head snapped back up in surprise - she had expected him to milk that apology for all it was worth. "It _was _partially my fault, and I should have waited for you to cool down some before saying anything to you, because I knew it would turn into this big thing. So for that, _I'm _sorry."

"It's alright," Lily mumbled, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and looking anywhere but in those deep, hazel eyes.

"If there's anything I can do to help you, you'll let me know, yeah?" James said, placing his hand on her arm and leaning his head around to capture her eyes with his, to let her know that he was completely serious. "I know you're strong, but sometimes we all need a little help."

Lily felt her mouth fall open, but found she had nothing to say to that. Subconciously, she felt herself nod her head.

James smiled at her, and gave her arm a gentle squeeze before he murmered a quick, yet still somehow heartfelt, "Goodnight, Lily."

"Goodnight, James," she mumbled after him, watching him go up the stairs and out of sight.

As Lily ascended the stairs to her own dorm, she couldn't help but smile with pride. She knew that if she was able to face Severus as she just had, without shedding a single tear, that she would be able to go on without him. She knew she would always feel a sting of nostalgia whenever she thought of or saw him, but that was it. She would miss the Sev she had grown up with, not this one - the one she hardly knew anymore.

And, she had been able to get rid of her guilt with James in the same night. That had been a hell of a lot easier than she had expected it to be. But he was able to accept her apology, and even give her one of his own, one that she felt he truly meant.

"You look pleased," Emmeline commented as Lily entered her dorm. Apparently, she was still smiling.

"She must have hit him," Marlene said, in all seriousness. Lily laughed, and the other girls all looked at her in shock.

"No, I didn't hit him. Honestly," Lily said, rolling her eyes as she flounced onto her bed. Dorcas and Mary shared a look of worry that Lily didn't miss. "Oh, will you two cut it out? I'm going to be fine." All four girls sent her looks of disbelief. Lily scoffed at their lack of faith. Why couldn't they be as confident in her as James? "I've had my cry, and that's that. Time to move on."

"But Lily, he was your best friend." Mary said, her tone condescending, as if Lily wasn't aware of this information.

"No, _that _Sev wasn't." Lily said, not surprised when they all looked confused. "The Sev that was my best friend died the day he was sorted into Slytherin, and started going along with all their antics."

"Glad to hear you're accepting that," Marlene said, smiling warmly at Lily. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Emmeline nodding in agreement. But Dorcas and Mary still looked skeptical.

"Honestly, you two, I'll be fine. Now please, let me get some sleep. It _has _been a long day." Dorcas and Mary both sent her feeble smiles, still disbelieving.

_They'll see, I'll be just fine,_ Lily thought, as she pulled the covers over her head and fell into a much needed, heavy, and dreamless sleep.

* * *

**A/N: And, there you have it. That's my story. Let me know if you want to see more of it. Or, you can tell me that I did a marvelous job, and that I don't need to change a thing. You know, you could even tell me this was terrible, and that you got secondhand embarrassment while reading it. I honestly don't care. I just love getting those little e-mails letting me know I've got a review. (:**

**The fate of this story is entirely in your hands. If you want to see more, you have to let me know. Because if you don't, I'll just assume you thought it sucked.**

**Cheers,**

**Chase.**


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